Reader’s Confession: My Happy Husband
“SURE, most of my friends commented on my husband’s feminine looks; they said it might cause problems later, but I was tired of burly guys who partied too hard and cheated on girls. I’d had my fair share of heartbreak!
When I found the photos of my husband as I child, I cannot claim to have been too surprised as if I had not suspected something. There, in father’s arms, a beautiful child in a Christmas outfit – taffeta the colour of strawberry ice cream, mother beaming with pride; a note on the photo album said, ‘To my beloved princess, I love you, angel’.
Mikhael, or Mikha as I call him, was perfect, tall, handsome, beautiful lips, shy, soft spoken. He loved meeting up for coffee whenever we could get together. We met at work; he was new and I had to show him around and introduce him to the team. Afterwards, he asked where the best places were for relaxing, so I took it upon myself to show him around. I was single so I was thrilled.
At work we started spending most of our time together. He would call and make plans for lunch and coffee breaks; soon everyone wanted to know if something was going on. I was flattered. He would make food for us and would take me shopping in our spare time and he bought me the best gifts – in many ways he was like my best friend. He never made a move on me though, but I knew how shy he was, so I waited.
When I asked him if he liked me, he said he was old fashioned, he did not want to push me into a relationship. We were spending all our time together by then anyway, and he was not seeing anyone; he told me he was committed to us, to making me happy. So in a way we were a couple. He came over often, to cook dinner or watch movie marathons, and slept over, though nothing physical happened. I introduced him as my boyfriend and he did not mind.
So when he asked if we should marry I agreed immediately. I love Mikhael. He has no real sexual desire for me – but he doesn’t feel anything for anyone else either, so I don’t feel rejected. He is romantic: he spoils me with gifts, regular spa treatments; we travel often, spending time together, making plans to buy our first home and adopt a puppy like all newlyweds.
He told me about his surgery to remove his female genitalia. He was born with intersex and his parents decided to let him decide who he was himself when he came of age; they helped pay for his surgery and treatments. He told me he went through some depression trying to make sense of his body; he also faced a lot of rejection from some of his extended family.
That is why being happy is so important to him right now. I know now that to be happy you have to make the decision to be grateful for what you have in your life, for the people who work hard to bring a smile to your face. My husband does that for me.”