Well… I suppose we ought to sweep them formalities to one side. I wish you a happy 2019. I do sincerely hope that your year shan’t be festooned by blight and any form of irksome woe. That last request is somewhat of a longshot – much like a flight, it is something you can’t control. What I’d then wish for you is control. You be the pilot then; in such a way you’d be able to mitigate any wretchedness. Heed, I say mitigate because, well, you know, at some point the proverbial whatnot will hit that twirling fan, aggressively.
I must admit. I have done very little evaluation-wise. For much of my break I have been asleep. Not necessarily out of pure exhaustion, but much out of the time it had been out of boredom. You see, going away is an expensive exercise and I have not had the millions to do so this year. In fact, I’m saving for a trip in 2020 – an expensive one and one that I believe we all should save up for. Look, South Africa is nice, but I don’t think we spoil ourselves enough. A point must come where we explore the beyond or, you know, Mozambique, at least.
I will usher you into the New Year with ease. I’m not a subscriber of the frantic nor am I a panderer, or herald, of a stressful journey. It all sounds half-profound, but this is what this all is – an opportunity. We can all better ourselves at any point in a year, but a new one just signals a psychological advantage. A new year, for some reason, lies brim-full of prospect, of niceties and of refreshment. It is here where we need to capitalise for there might be a year after this, but, much like your retirement, earlier is better.
Our first weekend of 2019 will be a subdued one. I figured that organisers reckoned that people at this point are taking care of their own pleasurable activities. It is quiet, but I do ask of you to stick it out with me. There will be a repeat of something, but I shall include it for fear of those who missed that memo last year – it is a good’un, so by the way. It will pick up eventually, this much you can be sure of, but if you find yourself at home at present with very little to do, then I’m here to assist to the best of my ability.
- Nik Rabinowitz – Dry White, Ends 12 January
Cost: R120-R150 available through Webtickets
For fear of public condemnation I’d say that Mr Rabinowitz himself would say that a Jewish person in comedy is a fairly common occurrence. But this means a little something. It means that he has an extra bit of ammo because he’s been immersed in the culture. Sure one could make common societal observations, but being part of a certain community may just give you a handful topics to convey that others might not be able to do. For this show he’ll discuss the Western Cape’s recent water crisis betwixt love, marriage and other experiences that the average citizen, well, might experience. Catch him at the Baxter Theatre in Cape Town.
- DinosAlive, Ends 9 January
Cost: R40 at the door
I have not shaken my childhood interest in dinosaurs and I expect this is why I might have been drawn to this event. It is also not every day that we visit the lovely town of Somerset West in the Western Cape. This is obviously for the kiddies and I suspect that many Vaalies are still in the province. What you and the little ones can experience at DinosAlive is not only an educational experience, but an entertaining one, too. Various interactive activities will literally come to life on your phone or tablet and rides on life-size animatronics will be available, too. I’m sure there will be an enthusiastic dad or two who’d like to ride a t-rex, but I believe this luxury is reserved for children alone. So, if you find yourself with an extra bit of time during your break then I suggest that you take the tykes to the Somerset Mall for a grand old time.
- Kirstenbosch Summer Sunset Concerts 2018, Ends 31 March
Cost: Varies, available through Webtickets
There is still a healthy line-up this summer, luckily. The festive season may be on its way out, but we have a further three months left of concerts chock-full of some of South Africa’s premier music acts. The setting is not half bad, too – the gardens can trace their origins to the mid-seventeenth century and it covers a whopping five out of six of the country’s natural biomes. Then there is the small matter of a certain mountain that makes for a lovely backdrop. I can’t imagine many a Sunday spent any better than a visit to this spectacular place. You can still look forward to the likes of GoldFish, The Parlotones, Freshlyground, Mafikizolo_Africa, The Soil, Fokofpolisiekar, the Cape Town Philharmonic Orchestra, Amanda Black, Matthew Mole, Spoegwolf / Jan Blohm, Shortstraw / Bam Bam Brown and Goodluck / EASY FREAK. The admission fee, too, ain’t all that bad.
- Parker’s Comedy and Jive, Ends 31 January
Cost: R120, available through Parkers Comedy
Johannesburg can do with a bit of a laugh in 2019, too. For it there can be no better place to do it at the legendary Joe Parker’s own little getup in Montecasino. The whole month will be littered with side-splitting acts on a weekly basis and it only requires of you to visit the website to determine which act you’d like to see. If the money allows it, then I’d suggest that you sommer consider seeing all of them should you find that your year got off on the wrong foot… laughter, they say, no? Y our money will go a long way as well because more than a single act will perform on any given night.
- Cedar Square Slow Market, 5 January
The premise here is simple: go out and support. The Slow Market is also a new development in the Fourways area in Johannesburg and the organisers intend for it to be hosted every Saturday if possible. I say if possible because projects like this, no matter how good they are, do run the risk of fizzling out rather quickly. It is for this reason that you ought to support the 40 vendors and artisans that will have various food, drink, clothing, jewellery and other knickknacks for you to peruse over and sample. Regular live music performances will also serve to brighten every event up.