Gigi Lamayne has opened up about her tough upbringing and the events that triggered her attempted suicide last month.
The rapper had previously admitted to battling depression, but nobody knew just how dark her thoughts had become.
Speaking to ZAlebs, Gigi says that she started questioning her existence.
“It was because of a buildup of things in my life, from society pressures to me questioning my existence. I felt like life was a lot. The cyberbullying is something I thought wasn’t getting to me because I’d read things and it wouldn’t get to me, but I guess it went in subconsciously,” she says.
The 24-year-old added that she felt that life was unfair.
“I did everything by the book, I excelled at school, I didn’t get pregnant, I then excelled in university, but things aren’t working for me. I seem strong but because of my past and conditioning, I’m easily bullied. I continue to get bullied and controlled because that’s all I know.”
Shortly before her suicide attempt, Gigi revealed that she had been in an abusive relationship
The 24-year-old detailed shocking details, including how an ex-boyfriend pushed her onto the balcony, leaving her drenched in blood.
It all became too much for Gigi.
But the rapper’s problems started long before her toxic relationship. Gigi says that her childhood wasn’t always easy.
“I came from a home that was quite destructive, so school was my escape, my father was and still is an alcoholic and was very abusive – especially towards my mom.”
Although her relationship with her father has since improved, with Gigi saying that she’s “grown to love him even more and understand that he was failed by the system”, the abuse she witnessed as a child led her into the arms of the wrong men.
“My father has impacted my relationships in the sense that I always find myself with people that have similar characteristics to him. I’ve also noticed that sometimes I have run away from good men because I’d think he is boring because I was conditioned that that was what love is.”
One month before opening up about her unhealthy relationship with her ex, Gigi lost a close friend – rapper Pro Kid
His passing made her question her life and career even more.
“Pro Kid kinda discovered me before Khuli Chana but we didn’t work out because of management issues. But we remained close, so when he died it triggered the fact of how entertainers are treated in society and how we’re, especially as female artists, just expected to shake our asses.”
Gigi is on the road to recovery and has turned to close friends and family for support, including fellow rapper Nadia Nakai.
“Nadia has been my rock in this industry. She keeps checking on me.”
Lily Rose – All4Women